- Let's get this straight: it's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
- They are cattle. They're live steaks or walking milk bottles. That's why they smell funny to you, get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west, I-79 goes north and south. Pick one.
- Pull your droopy pants up, you look like an idiot.
- Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
- So you have a $60,000 car, we're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
- Every person in rural Pennsylvania waves. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
- If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and three does are coming in, we will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
- Yeah, we eat scrapple, pot pie, funnel cakes, haluskie, macaroni and cheese. We fry our fish after 'catch'n 'em'. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
- The 'opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held on the Monday after Thanksgiving.
- We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
- No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the chef's salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
- When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce and Heinz ketchup. Oh, yeah...we don't care what you folks in Jersey call that stuff you eat. It’s not real chili.
- You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
- You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, and have long hair.
- College and high school football are as important here as the Steelers and Eagles and a lot more fun to watch.
- Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards---it spooks the fish.
- Colleges? We have them all over. We have state universities, community colleges, and vo-techs. They come outta’ there with an education plus a love for God and Country. They still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.
- We have a whole ton of folks who have been in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
- Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump-thump stuff is not music anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to # 3 .
- Four inches isn't a blizzard--it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense, and don't take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. You’re not in Alaska . Worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow plows will have you out
the next day.